Question: I’ve really been struggling in my decision making lately and often feel like I want to bury my head in the sand. There is always a fire, and we are under so much scrutiny, I don’t even know how to respond or keep anyone motivated. Really, I want to give up but I don’t want to let my team down so I keep trudging along. I feel like a horrible leader and see no future. What’s wrong with me and what can I do about it? - Overwrought Executive Director

Thank you for sending this question to the 5 Minute Coach! First, let me validate your emotions and note that the way you are feeling is common in these overwhelming situations. People often forget that leaders are also human and while they are trying to keep up with being mindful, giving space, promoting wellness and more for their staff; they often don’t take the time needed to keep themselves well. That being said, it doesn’t change the fact that as the leader, there are expectations and needs of your role that absent, can precipitate disaster. The consequences of a lack of rest, space, perspective and support especially under the stress of chronic crisis will result in a leader’s failure to launch. This is what it sounds like you are experiencing. Here’s a breakdown:

If not managed properly, chronic crisis can lead to two leadership maladies: a failure of heart and a failure of nerve. These don’t always happen at the same time, but chronic crisis can act as a catalyst, bringing these two together to freeze you and ultimately, cause you to fail in your leadership.

The failure of heart is an incrementally degrading issue that can lead to a lack of empathy, compassion or genuine concern for the well-being of others. Another symptom is a failure to connect and remain present with your team. The behavioral symptoms that you might recognize are withdrawal, cancelling or avoiding meetings, snapping at others, etc.

A failure of nerve is the loss of courage to lead in the face of increased pressure or criticism or crisis or all of the above, especially when there is little recognition of your success and effort. The resulting behavioral symptoms are poor decision making, ambiguous communication, rejecting help, an increase in stonewalling, etc.

In both cases, the leader may or may not realize that they are engaged in these behaviors. It may not be immediately apparent to them that they are more indecisive or not showing up in the way they used to. However, the change is often quite apparent to the team, staff, or community they serve. A key point here is that every leader is not the same. There are some leaders who shine during crisis, there are others who quickly harden (failure of heart) and increase the distance under the guise of focusing, and others who lean into people pleasing, lamenting, and invisibility (failure of nerve). It can be very challenging to correct because the root causes of these issues are external and continuous.

Try using the LAD Find your SPOTT method to help you!

*S.P.O.T.T. Stands for: Stop, Prioritize, Organize, Take Stock, Take Action*

Stop: Use this time to actively and intensely assess where you are emotionally on your own first. Check in with your team to have an honest conversation where you candidly acknowledge what’s happening, apologize, show gratitude for the effort they’ve been putting in, and clear the air. This can be challenging! Have a facilitator present to translate emotional language and motivate meaningful communication towards resolution.

Prioritize through Planning: Gather information needed to clearly outline needs along a timeline. When things are on fire, it seems that everything is due right now…but that is not always the case. (Guess what? Our Uncovery & Insights assessment packages are a great way to figure out where to begin with your team!) If able, remove yourself from the office to sort things out and come up with a plan to intervene. Short, intensive retreats can very impactful in these moments.

Organize: You are getting closer to implementation! Doesn’t it feel good to be doing something? Get your people in on the action by delegating tasks. Thoughtful organization especially after you’ve been emotionally distant can look like having a whose been keeping things going take the lead in sharing information and disseminating responsibilities. I would recommend having 1:1s as well to gather information and have sensitive conversations privately so that the organization process can move along relatively smoothly.
Take Stock: Reviewing what exists on the ground can trigger foresight. Prepare your resources, plans and procedures for implementation, and take note of what is needed so that you can be proactive in preventing another crisis.
Take ACTION: After you’ve been through the process of DECIDING, ACT. Stay present with your team as you all apply the solutions and resolve crises, communicating all the way through. There is no guarantee that every solution chosen will yield the best result but in the act of doing, there will be progress towards resolution. You never know the support, encouragement, and celebration you need may be on the other side.

In closing, chronic crisis can lead to deep burnout and emotional distress for the individual, and significant fallout within an organization. Use the Find Your S.P.O.T.T. method to move forward in the right direction. We can help!

If you are interested in our coaching packages, learning more about the Find Your SPOTT method, or getting support to get through crisis, contact us to get started!

Contact Us for help with chronic crisis

Warmly,