What is Mastering You?
Week: July 24- July 31, 2023
Theme: What is Mastering you?: A 5 day Series from THE “LIVING ABOVE” WEEKLY
Each of us experience uncertainty and the accompanying feelings of fear, freeze, and flight. It seems the more important the decision or even the task, the more difficult it is to make a move. This week’s coaching focus is on mastery: are you the master in your life or are you allowing yourself to be mastered? If so, how can you take back control?
Before we discuss steps, it is important to clarify the question. What does it mean or look like when something has mastered or gotten the better of you? For some of us, the first thing that comes to mind is a person pulling a fast one, but did you know that our own actions, vices, and escapes can cause us to lose our way and even, delude ourselves? These can sap you of your energy and momentum, culminating in deep frustration, when you realize how far from the mark you have strayed. Here’s are some examples of the things we say at the beginning of the process:
“I’ll only watch one more episode before going back to studying.”
“It’s ok if I miss this one time.”
“There is nothing wrong with listening to my book on Audible! I only do it when driving and walking and in my downtime and ….”
“I’ll call tomorrow. I’m sure they are busy now and I don’t really feel like talking.”
“These minor moments of enjoyment...become a form of freezing and avoidance that slowly but surely builds a wall between you and the door of opportunity.”
Now all of these seem benign and very regular (Audible is my personal favorite!) because, of course, we all do it (I mean there is absolutely nothing wrong with listening to my book on Audible…) But when do these innocent moments truly become a question of concern? The fact is that once in a while, there is nothing wrong with taking an additional 5 minutes to rest in the way that we need. Yet, in those moments when we find ourselves actively, knowingly avoiding the big decision or the small tasks in favor of escape, these minor moments of enjoyment begin to take on a sinister cast. They become a form of freezing and avoidance that slowly but surely begins to build a wall between you and the door of opportunity over time.
This brings us back to our question: what is mastering you? The goal of this week’s theme is not to take away our pleasures but to provide clarity in these lazy, hazy days of summer and to maintain discipline and consistency towards our goals; using the time to sow the seeds that will reap rewards in the winter.
Step #1: Identification & Acknowledgement
This first step is not so much about identifying the escape but what you are escaping from. It could be a big decision. For some, it is a weariness around work. For another, it may be a choice whose pros and cons are not clear but both are impactful enough to err on the side of complacency. It could also be indicative of a deeper pattern that is resulting in missed opportunities and lack of consistent achievement. Once identified, you want to acknowledge the emotions you are experiencing and the methods of escape you are employing. In the example, Audible was being used to avoid the completion of mundane tasks but it is the coachee’s responsibility to uncover the why behind the avoidance. Once you’ve identified what you are escaping from and have acknowledged that your escape mechanism(s) have moved from benign to intrusive, check back in to find out the next step towards regaining control.
Always,
Living Above Disorder