is it really lonely at the top? depends on your perspective
A 5.5 MINUTE READ
In this week’s essay, we begin our conversation around the use of motivational, behavioral, and organizational assessments to address topics in leadership, and organizational challenges. For more information on solutions, available assessments, and our organizational consulting services; view our available services on the Home page or hit the ‘Work With Us’ button to get started.
The phrase “it’s lonely at the top” frequently arises in my conversations with leaders, especially when as it relates to decision making, belonging, empathy, and diversity. When researching the topic, I came across no less than 5 articles written in the past year focused on the same topic which indicates the importance of this conversation in leadership and organizational circles, and the complexity of its nature. So let’s talk about it!
You can also watch The 5 Minute Sesh: ‘Is it really Lonely at the Top? ’ on the LAD YouTube Channel!
Is leadership lonely? The answer is: Yes!…and No.
Two fundamental aspects warrant consideration regarding the loneliness of leadership:
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Leadership roles, from managerial leaders to CEOs, are intentionally separate from the levels below to enable individuals to adopt a strategic perspective without the influence of personal relationships and emotions. This separation does not diminish the importance of feedback or diverse viewpoints; rather, it creates a buffer that allows leaders to consider all perspectives and weed out the fluff, navigate complexities more effectively, and focus on the big picture rather than tactical details.
The individual leader's personality and engagement preferences also play a crucial role. Each leader brings their unique traits, along with the ambition that propelled them to their position. A leader who values affiliation and community may be more inclined to engage more actively with their colleagues than one who prefers independence. In addition, each leader experiences varying levels of fulfillment or drain from the isolation that leadership entails which contributes to their perception of loneliness in their role.
That’s your opinion, Ms. McLean. What does the research say?
In a study conducted by Waytz, Chou, Magee, and Galinsky (2015), the authors argue that the more power an individual has is the less lonely they are because power begets influence, resources, and a greater perception of social interaction. To quote the authors: “We propose that high power reduces loneliness by reducing the motivation to connect socially with others.” In addition, power reduces loneliness by “buffering against social stressors” that can bring about withdrawal and increases ‘social resilience’ through influence and presence. This is not always the case. Authority and a leadership title does not always equate to power. In addition, there is an assumption being made that power in and of itself is enough to reduce experiences of loneliness in leadership which we know through evidence and experience is not true. Rokach (2014), however, writes that “…loneliness is a universal experience that does not respect the boundaries of age, gender, race, marital, and socioeconomic status; it is sometimes persistent and continuous and other times short lived.” The author agrees that leadership is inherently isolating by nature of the role but also notes that those who aim high can “…often find themselves estranged from others, especially from co-workers. It is difficult, if not impossible, to get close to those against whom we are competing.” In this study, there is a recognition that the feeling of loneliness can be pervasive, regardless of title, and individual differences and behaviors can trigger and reinforce those feelings.
As you can see the research varies widely but one thing is clear: while leadership may not always equate to loneliness, loneliness can find every leader.
How can organizations help leaders cultivate connections and solitude to mitigate the feeling of loneliness?
“While leadership may not always equate to loneliness, loneliness can find every leader.”
Establish Expectations Early:
It is essential for high-potential leaders and newly promoted managers to understand the impact their new authority may have on current relationships and connections within the organization. Being clear that feelings of loneliness may come due to the nature of the position while setting out the resources on offer to cope are key. Proactively providing comprehensive motivational and leadership effectiveness assessments, and individualized leadership coaching can enhance and adapt their social emotional skills and behaviors to their new role. Action plans may include strategies for recognizing and responding to stress, identifying environmental and verbal cues for appropriate communication, activities to practice perspective taking, and developing negotiation skills.
Create Opportunities for Networking and Recharge:
Encourage and connect leaders with a trusted Peer Advisory or Mastermind group, allowing them to engage with diverse internal and external leaders in a facilitated environment. Paying for a short term subscription and making it a mandatory component of the position, provides immediate functional support to your leaders.
Foster the development of social networks among in-house leaders. Regular opportunities for leaders to share experiences, meet, connect, and grow together can serve as vital sources of support and resilience.
Conversely, provide opportunities for solitude, acknowledging the needs of more introverted leaders. Immersion in crowded environments, excessive meetings, or constant communication may contribute to their sense of loneliness. Access to quiet spaces, such as outdoor gardens, dedicated meditation areas, or something as simple as a door can be invaluable for recharging.
Facilitate Non-Judgmental Release:
Leaders often grapple with loneliness during overwhelming organizational circumstances, high-pressure situations, or periods of change. Coaching can offer a confidential space for leaders to express vulnerability and seek guidance from a trusted advisor. This environment facilitates candid discussions and the opportunity to recharge emotionally.
Additionally, organizing small group conversations and workshops with a facilitating licensed counselor or psychologist around persistent feelings of loneliness or isolation with strategies to combat can be very helpful, while providing access to pursue more intensive one one one support.
Promote Well-Being and Inclusion Across All Roles:
Integrating and promoting these initiatives within the organizational culture underscores the importance of mental health resilience for all work groups. This approach not only fosters a sense of value and recognition among all employees but also mitigates the stigma surrounding the challenges of leadership, enhancing the likelihood of nurturing future leaders within the community.
In conclusion, organizations can reshape the narrative surrounding leadership loneliness by actively listening, being intentional, and creating environments where leaders can choose their paths for connection or solitude.
References (APA Format)
Rokach, A. (2014). Leadership and loneliness. International Journal of Leadership and Change, 2(1), 6.
Waytz, A., Chou, E. Y., Magee, J. C., & Galinsky, A. D. (2015). Not so lonely at the top: The relationship between power and loneliness. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 130, 69-78.
